No sexual drive during the honeymoon phase? Attachment anxiety may be to blame

Trend News: This Type of Anxiety Could Lower Your Libido, Study Finds

As a couple or in marriage, the honeymoon phase is hard to beat. Star-eyed dates, romantic vacations, and lots of great sex. This is how it usually rolls, right?

Well, not for everyone, and in particular, not for guys with attachment issues, a new study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology has found. In order to find out how sexual desire in relationships is maintained over time, researchers investigated newly dated and married heterosexual couples. Among their findings, they found that rates of sexual desire experienced a significant drop in male partners who exhibited attachment anxiety.

Freaked Out, not weird

To get their results, the researchers spent eight months investigating 62 newly released couples and 18 months investigating 175 newlywed couples. Looking at the aggregate data, men and women in these two classic “honeymoon” periods experienced a gradual decrease in sexual desire over time. Understandable, right? However, the decline was significantly more pronounced for men with attachment anxiety (fear of rejection or abandonment).

In research, men who experienced a drop in their libido tended to agree with statements such as “I’m afraid romantic partners don’t care about me as much as I do.” Interestingly, men with low levels of attachment anxiety did not see a drop in their libido. And both genders with attachment avoidance issues experienced a slightly larger decline than average. All this, for Moran Mizrahi, corresponding author of the study and lecturer at the Ariel University Center of Samaria, is not necessarily a bad thing.

“Desire seems to be more fragile when fueled by relationship expectations rather than pleasure-centric impulses,” she told PsyPost. “[The findings] suggest that desire decreases faster when people are preoccupied with their relationship and is not necessarily doomed to decrease over time.

Still, Mizrahi is a little less sure of exactly what is central to the reduced libido of anxious guys. “Potential applicants may be concerned about sexual competence, the perceived high demands of sexual interactions, and the lack of psychological differentiation from a romantic partner,” she said.

Whatever the cause, this is an important area for researchers to explore. Mizrahi notes, “I believe that an understanding of normative fluctuations in sexual desire during romantic relationships is important for maintaining sexual and relationship satisfaction, and can help prevent relationship breakup in long-term couples. “

In short, those who lie down together stay together.

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